I would spend most of my days listen to the radio as I work, normally to block out the bullshit. Now when one of these adverts come on, I really just want to turn the radio off and listen to office politics. If I hear one of these adverts, I do NOT want to buy what they're selling. Hell no. If they make crappy ads like that they might as well close down their business. And what kinda crap do you wonder? I'll tell you:
Firstly, when they put on a scene with a father and his daughter, or a mother and his son. It sounds like robots having a conversation. Not only do the voices sound perfect and rehearsed, but the people use facts and percentages normal people would not regurgitate. Example:
"Hey mom, did you know that I could as little as a 20% interest rate on any personal loan up to 100 000 before the 1st April?"
Egh, bleh. Yuk. Sounds like a consultant to me. What human being speaks like that, seriously.
Secondly, all the bullshit they say right at the end of their adverts. Banks and casinos are the worst. They say about 2 paragraphs of bullshit you never really listen to as fast as they can. It makes the advert sound slapped together and pukifying. You hear "Terms and Conditions apply" and all kinds of other bullshit to cover their asses.
So here are some tips to those who construct these flop ads.
TIP 1: Use normal people language! Nobody speaks like that in real life so don't make an ad that sounds like the script was generated on a computer!
TIP 2: Either dumb down and slow down the shit at the end of the ad, or leave it out! It leaves a bad aftertaste in the mouth of listeners.
TIP 3: Make it exciting. We gonna be listening to your stupid advert over and over, so at least make it sound good. Use voices that don't sound irritating on the radio, a joke that doesn't get old after the first time, not too damn long, and no "subject to availability" or "terms and conditions apply". You are driving us away man.
So what are your thoughts on radio adverts? Feel free to comment. And fuck you to the blog bashers.
